End Scene and Deleted Scenes

DVDs are nifty things. If you really fancy a certain movie, you’ll purchase the original DVD (or not, if you’re a pirate) and watch everything including the commentary and the deleted scenes. You’ll savor each and every moment that you have to feast your eyes and your mind on the story and the characters as they unfold before you in visual ecstasy.

But if life imitated art and you were going through a tough time, I doubt you’d find any comfort in having as many options to rewind, relive and backtrack each particular scenario.

I’m at a crossroads again. Geez you must be well over hearing me say that again. But I can’t lie to you. I really am. I’m in a dip, a valley, in a rut, and all the other cliches you can think of. I don’t wish my life right now was a DVD where I can watch deleted scenes over and over again. I wish it were a flexible script where I can rewrite this difficult chapter and change it to say “End scene.” Shorten the painful time period, is what I want to do.

But Isaiah reminds us that our ways are not God’s ways; our thoughts are not God’s thoughts. His are higher–and thank heaven for that!

I’m so tired in the physical and sometimes I feel like I’m tired in the spiritual too. I crave rest. His rest. But I get bogged down by the arrows of the lies of the devil. Accusations left and right; condemning thoughts that remind me of my past and very recent mistakes. There’s no escape—but in the shadow of God’s wings. In the past two days a very emotional guy friend of mine has been unloading his burdens to me and I’ve had to set aside mine in order to listen to him. He gets to a point where he drains me of my energy and joy but then later I realize that hearing him whine and moan and complain about how much he has screwed up his life has brought out the innate encourager in me. I caught myself and heard the things I was saying to him and felt like God was speaking to me through that.

Sounds weird I know. But God is so amazingly creative in his ways of speaking to us. I just need to pass through this valley and wait out this dip while I wait on God. Someone once said, “If you’re going through hell, keep walking” and that’s what I intend to do. I get really afraid sometimes that the consequences of my past and recent recklessness will catch up and swallow me alive–then I remember the truth about God’s goodness and His tender mercy and steadfast love for me. Then I feel alive again.

I guess once this dry season is over, I will once again be a mangrove thriving by the riverbanks. By the time God’s carried me over to the other side, I will look back and see the mighty things He has done once again to restore me. Then I wouldn’t mind being a DVD that I could replay over and over.

God’s goodness in our lives deserves altars or landmarks. That way when discouraging seasons come, we can look back and remember His goodness and be assured that He will once again uplift us and be good to us.